What do you want? Really.

From high school to young adulthood there are often multiple times in our life where we are put in situations and asked on what our personal/professional/extisential goals in life are.

From life skills classes full of career aptitude tests to monthly reviews at work. We are asked to lay out what we want to accomplish in a certain future timeline.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say they want to do something and put an actual amount of zero effort forth towards said 'goal'.

I want to travel more. Okay it's a three day weekend, buy a cheap flight or go on a day trip.

I want to meet someone. Then get out the house and put yourself out there.

I want to get in shape. Go on a walk for God's sake.

I want to learn Spanish. Download Duolingo.

I want to start running. Go run down the street, you don't have to start at a 6 mile 5k pace.

Don't start running, it's a terrible hobby that will bring you nothing but joy.

Yes, you're going to get the best results if you fully commit, but you also need to start somewhere and it's not feasible to go from zero to one hundred. That's exactly why so many people fail in their goals, because they don't make them realistic.

Heck, the New Year just happened and how many of you have already broken your resolution of not bringing * insert whatever mainstream goal * into 2026.

Yeah sure, you're going to see the most change in your physique and results if you start going to the gym 5 days a week consistently. But if you've been struggling to get to the gym at all then it's not really realistic to expect a 500% increase.

One of my favorite authors, James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits adopts the mentality of 1% better everyday. If you do that for a 100 days that essentially brings you to 100% increase in said area and it's not even 1/3 through the year.

But the facts are that any real change we want to make in our life; the desired outcome can rarely be seen overnight. Honestly, while I'm sure there are caviats, I can't think of a single, substantial one.

There aren't people who are just born 'more motivated' than you. It's deciding to have discipline and prioritize what you think you want in life. I say what you think, rather than what you do because honestly.. if you don't do it do you really want it?

Do you really want a partner if you refuse to go on any apps or attempt to intentionally go places where you can meet someone.

Just like how when you're for a job an employer isn't going to look across a crowded room and choose you, you shouldn't expect that of your love life either.

As much as I'd love a meet cute in a coffee shop where a guy asks me about my book and we fall in love discussing our shared annotations and thoughts on literature, my life is not a romcom. It's mostly just a com.

Now just because I'm writing this doesn't mean I have all my shit together and have mastered accomplishing what I want in life.

For instance, I say how much joy writing brings me and that I want to publish a book one day. How many blog posts have the two of you who actually read this seen me post lately? (Hi mom + Emily)

How many literary agents have I reached out to in the last six months? Zero.

I blaim it on being un-inspired, but am I seeking that inspiration? I hold myself accountable and know that in this specific regard I am my own hurdle. A mental hurdle I am actively working to overcome at this very moment.

It's hard though considering white girl can't jump. Which was only solidified by this week's game of pick up basketball.

One of my biggest pet peeves in life are people who just say things that they think they're supposed to or people want to hear.

Every month at work my team goes around the room with each individuals goal for the month. Every month end-over-end they say some lofty 'impressive' goal and month-over-month they don't accomplish it, or really even get close.

When we make these goals and keep not attaining them, we are telling ourselves that we are okay with failure and mediocrity.

Now I will contradict myself here right quick. It is my goal in life to seek failure. You should always be looking to level up and we can't truly challenge ourselves without failure.

If you get master everything you do on the first try, then you probably are not living up to your true potential.

Top performer at work? Always hitting your metrics? Go farther.

I was thinking about three Joe Biden GIFS in a row but held back..

There's a point where we get comfortable and life and stop growing. My goalp is to always grow. Even if it's just the tiniest little sprout, I want more. This life we get to live is to short not to.

But where failure handicaps is when you decide to live in it and accept. I love failing in new ways, I'm not looking to always fail in the same way and just accept that. I will keep working at something until I get it.

But if my overall goal is a free handstand.. first I need the goal of holding one against the wall. If I skip to the end goal I'm always going to fail.

I urge to fail in a new way today. Go to the roller rink. Book a cheap flight. Find a seat alone at the restaurant you've been want to try.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT. I'm already at the very least 25% through my life. I only get 3 more of what I've already done.

Let that sit.

Now do something about it. Something you want, not what others want for you.

With all my love,

Xoxo Mild Girl