Dating in 2025.

Left. Left. Left. Left. Right. Left.

While you may think I'm reciting the lyrics of the hit hip-hop song released by Drama in 2000. I'm actually giving you the play by play on my dating life.

Despite being a young person that puts herself in a copious amount of settings to meet age appropriate and like-minded partners with similar interests (run clubs, co-ed sport leagues, run clubs, church) I find that it seems apps like Hinge and Tinder are a primary source of where I interact with potential partners.

I tend to to go back and forth on how I feel towards the apps. While I don't think it's a bad way to meet a person, I always preferred the idea of meeting someone in person. Granted that idea was also mainly accumulated through cut to scenes from movies where a guy sees a girl across the room and has the "she's the one" moment.

That being said I did meet my last partner on an app and we had a very healthy relationship and no qualms to be said about it.

While I still find the concept of love at first sight endearing, I'm not too keen to hold myself to that expectation. I can't tell a mans value and whether or not he's an absolute fuckwad by the way he smiles at me across the bar. Although when I seem to have 2+ tequila sodas I begin to think I have the power vested in me to all of a sudden read the subliminal morality of any man I encounter.

Or maybe moreso I just seem to throw the consideration of morality out the door altogether.

See the thing is I am past my years of looking for a good fuck.

Don't get me wrong I'm not going to pretend I'm the virgin mary over here and don't have a backup vibrator in case I forget to charge the first line of defense.

I love sex and I won't say otherwise.

The thing is I'm not looking for someone who can give me an orgasm, I mastered that myself at the ripe age of 23. What I'm looking for in a partner is the man who will one day be the father of my children. A man who when I go on a run at night either insists to come with me or watches my location to ensure my safety. The kind've man who isn't content with me being a good version of myself and pushes me to be the absolute best version of myself.

That's what I want for the rest of my life.

There is nothing sexier than a man of intention.

One thing about me: I've never been one to keep my mouth shut.

If you have met me literally ever it probably didn't take you long to come to that conclusion. So I'm not going to do the whole 'play it cool' thing in dating, if I want to text someone I will.

Granted, that doesn't mean I don't find it attractive for a man to take initiative. Personally, I prefer it. In my personal life and work there are so many situations that require me to take charge that genuinely when it comes to my love life I do prefer for a man to make mosrt of the decisions.

That doesn't mean I won't speak my mind or say when I disagree with something. But as the woman I am, I appreciate a man who leads. Not because I cannot or am incapable, but because I don't want to.

I prefer to live in my feminine.

There was a time where I was more open in dating, but at this phase of my life I'd like to think I've become more... selective. There are things that are non-negotiables.

These for me are not qualities that make someone a bad person, but just probably not the right person for me.

I think getting to that point and realizing there are people in this world that will serve you better as a partner than others. I also genuinely believe this is so much more than having 'sparks' with another person. Reliability, stability and communication are what is going to keep a relationship going in the long run.

So I don't do the whole hot n' cold thing in dating anymore. I don't accept communication only when it's convenient for one person. Because life was not made for us to glide through and be easy.

It was made to throw us around a bit. So you need a partner that can pick you up.

A large part of me likes that this life isn't one of ease.

Some might say cancer for instance is a terrible thing (I am in fact some), but that's not to say I would change anything about my story. I believe in grit and perserverance to make us strong and teach us lessons in this life.

Life has dealt some shitty cards to us all. Now that I have had to deal with chemotherapy becoming incontinent for a year at the age of 23. I refuse to deal with the bullsh!t of a 28 year-old investment banker that 'isn't ready to commit'.

I am willing to put the time and work into someone who feels the same - but we only have a finite amount of time on this earth and I am not willing to waste it.

As always thanks for reading. Love + appreciation to you all.

Xoxo Mild Girl